It's not hihi, just vi ses

Tonight is officially my last night in Copenhagen. I got back from the cruise around 2 and am all packed already, it was actually very quick and I got everything into my big suitcase and a little one my dad brought me with both of them being under weight. The cruise was great though, I have some great lines to show for it. We spent the nights on the ship and went to a few different cities during the days. Went to Monte Carlo first, then Rome, Pisa, Pompeii, Naples and Puerto de Mallorca. They're incredibly beautiful but its so hard to get anything more than a very superficial feel, especially with a city like Rome. The parts we saw though where incredibly overwhelming...actually, to say that getting off a bus and standing in front of the Colosseum is overwhelming is a huge understatement, but we're going with it for lack of a better word.

Ive been trying to reflect on this whole experience and its really hard to explain or figure out exactly what I think. The time here has flown by incredibly quickly...it seems as though just yesterday I was standing in the airport waiting to meet my host family. Coming here, I thought it would be hard to be away for an entire a semester, but looking back on it, I wish I had done a year. Its so hard to leave when Ive just really started to get to know the culture and people. Life changing to say the least. I think this has just fueled my desire to travel...and not the vacation travel, but the go and live in different places travel. I was talking to my brother about it and he thinks its crazy because it gives you no stability and makes it really hard to stay in touch. I agree. But I love the feeling of not knowing quite what to expect, as scary as it can be, and the day when you finally stop feeling like a tourist (until someone asks you for directions and you realize you really only know the routes you take all the time). So I think this is just the beginning. I really want to try and go to Africa next...that's incredibly general, I know, but I think Sudan and DRC are currently out of the question and I need to figure out a lot more before I can know where I want to go. In other words, this blog is over, but there will hopefully be another one in the not too distant future :)

2 days. what?

Leaving for Spain Sunday at 7am. That means that tomorrow will be my last actual day in Copenhagen. WTF?! Not okay, not ready. Family is here now. They were running late when we were supposed to meet so I decided to go get my cartilage pierced. I was thinking about getting something to commemorate the trip and I was walking past a tattoo/piercing place, so this is #4. Spanky leaves tomorrow morning- taking him to the airport at 920 :(

This is going by far too fast...Chicago a week and 3 days. Cleveland like 5 days after that. Bittersweet.

The motherland!!

Im sitting in my nephew's little chair (which fits roughly one of my buttcheeks). Got to St. Petersburg on Thursday at around 4..my dad and sister met me at the airport. She looks almost the same as she did five years ago when I last saw her, but a bit more slender since she isn't pregnant this time. First thing we did was picked up my nephew from preschool, and let me tell you, he's such a little stud. He looks identical to his father, so its the first and probably last time we'll have a blond haired, blue eyed one in the family. Anywho, he had light up ELMO shoes on which he was incredibly excited to show me. My dad asked if he knew who I was and he looks at my dad like he's an idiot and goes of course, its aunt Sasha (that's so strange to hear!) So our introduction was over his shoes and spiffy little overall outfit. But the stud part, we took one of his friends home because her mom couldn't pick her up until later...my dad was getting such a kick out of the fact his grandson is bringing girls home already, what a stud, really. But he's the most talkative, energetic, bouncing off the walls kid ever! Forget the fact there were two people he's never met before with him, I could barely follow what he was saying (and it wasn't the language barrier, thank you, my vocabulary isn't that bad). He also literally ran around the room in circles for about five minutes until we left. The little girl was adorable and made me hold her hand the entire ride and cried when her mom came to pick her up (oops?)

Anyway, we walked around the city center..Ive seen a lot of the touristy stuff last time I was here with my mom, but I havent been back at the same time as my dad since we moved almost 15 years ago so it was very interesting seeing the city through his eyes and hearing his stories. He showed me the bar he used to hang out at and the restaurant where he took my mom on one of their first dates (he was all nervous and got reservations that were really difficult to get way in advance and all and apparently mom left early, leaving him slightly heartbroken..but all worked out well). Did more sightseeing and went to the theater last night. Saw a comedy called "number 13" which was actually hilarious. I was a bit nervous there would be nuances I wouldnt understand but I followed it the whole time, so no worries. It was about the Prime Minister's assistant who was having an affair in some hotel when a thief (who turns out to be a private investigator hired by the husband) tried to break in and fell in the window and "died" (you find out later he isn't really dead, what a twist..sorry if I ruined the big surprise, yell at me if you see it?) and they try to hide the body with his secretary etc etc. Complex plot, but really simple storyline and funny...perfect for the night. Then got some wine and just sat and talked and caught up on the last five years of life.

Today we went and met up with my second cousin...I dont have any actual cousins so apparently we used to be really close. She's also twenty so it was really interesting comparing life here and there and getting a bit of a glimpse into how things could have been had I stayed here. She's also an interesting one to say the least, so listening to her stories was.....special (imagine a mix of incredibly blunt, dark sense of humor and who knows what else) She also talks about 5million words a second and walks even faster. Oh and she's roughly 6'2 so we know where the height in the family went (her mom is roughly the same, dad is taller). She did show me a little surprise- on one of the famous bridges where four horses stand, one of the horse's genitals is actually Napoleon's face, didn't see that one coming. Anywho, we grabbed lunch at some place my dad liked..it had a vegetarian menu which I haven't seen anywhere since I left the States so I was like a little kid in a candy store...only a 20 year old that could eat her veggies. Yeah strange I know. Anywho, it was delicious. Overall, great time thus far :)

(This is a few weeks later...)

The rest of the trip was equally great. We went to my dad's best friend's house and spent the entire day there. They used to teach together and apparently would go out to the bar after work as I learned from my dad's friends wife because she joked that she didn't like my dad because they always got in trouble together. The family is incredibly welcoming, energetic and hospitable. They made an obscene amount of russian food, brought out the old photo albums and we just spent the entire day sitting and talking. It was great getting a further glimpse into my dad's life when we lived there and I can understand why he didn't want to leave. He has the type of friendships there that are rare and you hang onto your whole life...they haven't seen each other for five years, and that's only with a few we ek visits here and there over the past 15 years, and still went back to right where they left off is. I can honestly say I dont remember seeing my dad as happy as he was there. I also haven't seen my dad bust out into song like he did there! By the end of the night, there was plenty of singing and the 97 year old grandma joined in along with the great granddaughter. It was a family affair to say the least. The grandma is hilarious and so full of love for life...she was asking us questions nonstop about everything and showed us her medals from the World Wars. And she got incredibly upset when they wouldn't let her drink anymore..like I said, full of life! Just listening to their stories and everything they have been through..and trust me, there has been plenty, and seeing ho w jovial they are was truly inspiring and I hope to have half the enthusiasm they do. Also, just seeing how much they opened their home and lives to us is so amazing to me. Leaving was slightly difficult because who knows next time Ill be back, but what are you going to do right? My dad asked me if I thought I could live there, and I think I could with no problem, but Im not sure I would want to. There is still a vast amount of corruption that is truly heartbreaking and the newer policies do not seem to be taking the country in the best direction. The directives for education are making it much more difficult for the average person to receive a good education and much more difficult for those in the system to provide a respectable education. My sister got so frustrated that she left and now works for the city hall as a social worker (best comparison I could make). Her position is actually really similar to what CASA does (Theta's philanthropy) which was really exciting to see- in cases where the child is not in a home that provides a proper environment she works with the court to figure out the best solution as an advocate for the child.

Overall, this was an amazing experience. I can not be happier that I went back because it truly changed my impression from last time I was back, when I was really heartbroken to see

some of the things that were going on. Despite the fact things are far from perfect...parts of the country do seem to be improving and the standard of living has increased a bit. Gives you hope.

I had a 6 hour layover in Helsinki on the way back so I went itno the city and wandered around. It is incredibly beautiful and the weather was great, so I checked out a few of the Churches and museums and then just hung out by the water and relaxed. Ah, what an amazing five days!

updated

I cant figure out how to move the posts around so its updated..just check the one down 2! Just for you Alissa :)

Quickie

Ah! I fully realize I haven't written anything in over a month. As a lame excuse, Ive been traveling the last two weeks and Im sorry but blogging wasn't top of the priority list. I currently have about 50billion things to catch up on (the amount of things starred in my email alone is overwhelming) but updates soon, promise. Quick sneak peek: travels were Berlin, Prague, Vienna and Budapest. Couldn't have asked for a better spring break. Picture to the left is in Prague..just a teaser as its one of the 600+ I have to sort through. Also, one of my best friends at home got married- congratulations Charlie and Im truly heartbroken I couldn't be there but looked like a beautiful wedding. Very strange that lives continue when youre not there huh? A very, very long update is coming in the next week hopefully...Im probably going to write it piece by piece whenever I get breaks because the next month here will be consisting of presentations, final research papers, projects, oh and enjoying the amazing Copenhagen spring and some final travels. Sleep when Im dead.

Mario, Luigi and Peach go on Spring Break

[Since the kids didnt show up to soccer today at PalKlub, Im going to use the time to finally update this shindig. The part from Berlin I wrote over the break..after that, its my attempt to remember what we did so sorry if its not as detailed. Oh and the 2 hour trip to PalKlub and back was great].

March 26th to April 11th..longest spring break Ill ever be getting, and probably the best. The plan is to go from Berlin to Prague to Vienna to Budapest. Its Spanky, Peter and me the first week and then Peter ditches us for snowboarding in the Alps (right, we're so much better what is he thinking?) and we're on our own for the second week. Adventures started at 5:39am when we caught the train to the bus station. Apparently someone got hit by the train that morning so it stopped running 4 stops later, forcing us to switch to a bus, and then another bus. We got to the station 5 minutes late and sprinted to the bus (literally). Ended up making it with some slight panic (well I learned Spanky stays incredibly calm...I on the other hand, uhm).

Berlin..actually oddly reminds me of the US out of all the places Ive seen with an underground punk/metal, remnants of WWII twist. We did a walking tour of the city which was the best tour Ive ever been on...our tourguide Max has a history degree and knew everything about everything. We saw the Berlin Wall (picture on the left), Checkpoint Charlie, Hitler's bunker, the Brandenburger Tor, TV tower, some of the famous streets, the East Side Gallery (probably my favorite; one of the murals is on the right) and a bunch of other stuff. We also did the Pergamonmuseum and Jewish Museum...both amazing. Did a few bars and pubcrawl too which was fun. Especially the back of the first bar, Zapatas, which had rats the size of my head running around. But it actually was really sweet (minus the rats) because we found a little art gallery outside that had different sculptures, pictures etc. We stayed at Helter Skelter Hostel one of the nights which turned out to be an old club that played Guns and Roses continuously the first night..great until someone stole my bed! I was not a happy camper.

For the city itself, remnants of WWII are definitely visible. Huge difference remains between the East and West. I never realized just how short twenty years is for a city to be reunited and basically rejuvenated. Apparently it has the most construction in Europe and third in the world. I think its also strange just how many memorials exist for people killed during WWII by Germany but I dont think I saw a single one to the German civilians killed by the Allied bombs. There is an immense amount of memorials to WWII too, including one in the center of the city called the "Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe." It consists of blocks of different heights and the ground is uneven so as you walk down into it, they tower over you. Over all, I think Berlin's history is what really makes the city, and really makes you realize what a baby the US is in comparison. At some point over the four days I decided that we should make up new names for ourselves in each city so we were trying to think of names that go well together and got Mario Luigi and Peach..but I couldn't handle introducing myself as Peach so that kind of failed. Shocker, I cant lie, who would have thought?

From Berlin we took an overnight train to Prague. And by that I mean we took a train into Dresden where we sat from 2-5am, tried to go into a building since the station was closed which turned out to be a police station and we got yelled at for sitting, so we went back outside, sat in the cold, played soccer with a bottle or cup or something, then took another train to Prague. However, it was well worth the trip. The city is absolutely beautiful (if you didnt get that from the last picture) and completely filled with tourists (possibly because we were traveling over Easter which all of Europe has off for vacation). First day was mostly a very long nap (train sleep isnt real sleep) followed by wandering and watching the Arsenal game and some pub. Just to show how huge futbol is here, we went to "the place to watch it" according to one of the guys who worked at our hostel probably an hour and a half before it started and all the tables were reserved. Ended up at a pretty good place though, met some guys studying there who told us a bunch of stuff to do.

We did another walking tour the next day, though this guy had nothing on Max- but he was really hard to beat. We saw the Atomic Clock, Old Town, New Town (separated by maybe 4 blocks?) Jewish Quarter, of course Charles Bridge (where we rubbed the left side of one of the statues for luck or love..cant really remember because almost everywhere we went youre supposed to rub one side of a statue for something). Did the zoo the next day, which may sound silly but first of all it appeals to the 5 year old in me, and its incredible. The zoo is huge and has every animal Ive ever wanted to see. I have a ridiculous video of little monkeys going crazy and playing some game where they pull each other down by their tails. We went out later and I dont know if it was just the place we were at or what, but 80s music, fashion and dancing. Good times though. We also did a Salvador Dahli exhibition because Spanky loves him. It was really interesting, but I wish I knew more about his life and definitely want to read up on him because to come up with that kind of art you have to have something fascinating go on in your mind. Also went to a sex museum, which was..interesting. Ill leave it at that. Next day (I think?) we did the Prague Castle (on the left), Lennon Wall (much smaller than youd expect) and just the whole area around the Castle. Came back to it at night, which is very much worth it, especially with the view you get of the city from above. I feel like Im missing something in there, and Im sure I am so Ill add if I remember. Overall, the city is beautiful. A little overwhelming with all the people though.

From Prague, Spanky and I were off to Vienna with a full itinerary. When we got to the hostel, we couldnt check in for a few hours so we left our bags there and went to wander and the Freud Museum. Well, to be honest, we first got food and coffee because there was no way I was making it anywhere without coffee. Walking through the city is kind of like walking through a very clean museum with intricately designed architecture. The Freud Museum was really interesting though and actually changed my opinion of him a bit- despite the fact I still dont agree with a chunk of his ideas, for his time he was brilliant and had groundbreaking contributions for psychology. Im asking Spanky what we did because Im having a bit of a hard time remembering. We wandered around the city a lot- it rained. We basically did all of the touristy stuff- walked around Ringstraße which has a lot of the main sights, went to Hofburg, checked out the area with all the museums, the Parliament. We took a tour of the Catacombs underneath Stephansplads (on the right)...sooo many bones!! We also went to the Zentralfriedhof Cemetery where Beethoven, Shubert, Strauss and others are buried, but all the gravestones are facing a memorial to Mozart even though he isn't buried there; actually, theyre just incredibly obsessed with Mozart. The cemetery itself is huge and beautiful. Some of the gravestones are like miniature buildings and probably worth as much. After Vienna we were off to Budapest. Except Budapest is only 3 hours away which didnt work well for our plan to overnight it there...so we went and watched the Arsenal game (they lost. we'll never talk about it again) in a South African bar, where I found a veggie burger!! First one Ive seen since getting to Europe, it was very exciting. After, we went back to our hostel, hung out and went off to the train station to catch our 6:30am train.

Budapest. Which is pronounced Budapesht by the way (I got yelled at for this, so dont make my mistake). I fell head over heels in love with this city and already cannot wait to go back oneday. We were both kind of tired by this point, so this was more low key than the others, but we still saw an insane amount. Actually, looking back, we could have probably taken things a bit slower and relaxed a bit more- its always hard to balance seeing all the things you want to with actually getting some rest in. Realistically, we were more tired when we got back than when we left, but it was worth it if you ask me (hopefully Spanky agrees). We stayed on the Pest side, but what really got me were the hills of Buda. If you go up to the Fisherman's Bastion, past the Matthias Church, you get an amazing view of the city, only to be beaten by the view from the Citadell. The Parliament is either the biggest or the second biggest in Europe, but either way is gorgeous. We tried to go in the last day but the tour group was full so no luck. The Chain Bridge at night is absolutely breathtaking. I think Im running out of words to describe these places, but there's only so much I can explain. We went into St. Stephen's Basilica (on the left), which has the mummified arm of King St. Stephen, after whom the basilica is named. Apparently the arm was mummified without preservatives. The best part was probably the Turkish bath though (ones I got a bathingsuit from H&M..you never fail me!). It's the most relaxed Ive been in months, not to say that I was horribly stressed traveling, but it just pulls away all your worries. We also spent a few hours hanging out at Margaret's Island, basically a massive park. Spanky tried to get a tan...I mean he got an incredible tan :) Also got lots of souvenirs for the fam at the market..get excited guys.

Overall, it was an incredible few weeks and made me realize how badly I want to travel everywhere and see everything. Not ambitious whatsoever right? The adventures continue..

Secret to Happiness

I was told I look like a potato today by one of the girls at the place I volunteer. Hopefully that got lost in translation. Though Im pretty sure it didn't.

More importantly, I had a lightbulb moment while talking to one of the other volunteers afterwards. We were talking about the Danish welfare state and the pros and cons- basically they have an insane safety net so if you lose your job, you just go to the city hall and they will not only give you money but help you find a job, apartment, the whole shabang. Also, if you're a student you get roughly 5000dkr a month=$1000. For going to school. That's right, you dont pay them, they pay you. Living the good life. But, what actually hit me when we were talking about the job security and the more equal society they have (their gap between the rich and poor is much smaller than in the US because not only do the rich pay much higher taxes but the "blue collar" jobs are paid much more than in the States). You can do what you want. That doesn't make sense at first but think about it- if you don't have to worry about losing your job and ending up without health insurance, a home, and food on the table, and if your job, whatever it is, will provide enough funds for you to maintain a decent lifestyle, you can do what you want. You dont have to pick a career because it pays well, but you pick it because it's what you actually want to do. The girl's sister is going to be a jockey (McCabe be jealous). It seems so simple, but just imagine the possibilities.

So now Im trying to figure out what I would do with my life if money was not a factor. You should do the same. It's a thinker.

The Hague, Brussels and more quotes than I know what to do with

Last week, my European politics program went to the Hague and Brussels..well really we went to Brussels and stopped by the Hague for a day. Trip started with a supposed-to-be 11 hour bus ride, which turned into a 16 hour ride after the 4 hours of what I imagine to be New York-style traffic in the middle of nowhere Germany..who knows? Next morning, after painfully dragging myself out of bed, the group headed over to a lecture by a civil servant at the Dutch representation to the EU. Interesting stuff..we were supposed to see the ICTY but since the trial of Karadzic started we weren't able to. After, we headed over to the Peace Palace. Another lecture, this time on the International Court of Justice- which of course I find fascinating, and a tour of the Palace. The entry way has the quote "may the sun of justice enlighten us" of which I am incredibly fond. The different parts of the Palace were donations by different countries- for example, the US donated a large amount of the ceiling. Well that and Carnegie helped fund an incredible amount of the Palace. After the required awe and photo-op out front, we went over to one of the 7 trappe monestaries in the world- 1 is in the Netherlands and 6 are in Belgium. We got a chance to try 6 of their beers...oh and they dont mess around, it ranges from 3-10%. Tour was interesting, I came to the conclusion I could never live a life like that so have a lot of respect and intrigue for those that can.

That night we drove into Brussels. The next few days have all kind of blurred together. We visited the EU Council and Parliament, NATO headquarters, political actor interviews, Planet Chocolate, the Music Museum, the Anatomium, had a bike tour of the city, went to a flee market, and basically did an incredible amount of wandering around. EU was interesting...they are much more compromising and consensus driven than any US organization I have encountered. Also, everything basically boiled down to nothing can be done without US support but the EU is a lot better at diplomacy. NATO was hilarious because we spent the whole time discussing whether it should even be in existance..not the typical stance of NATO officials but much more interesting. For our political actor interview, my group was assigned a legal representative from the European Trade Union Confederation- they work to lobby for workers rights. Lobbying works very differently here though because it is institutionalized do the EU will actually come to them and ask for advice as well.

For the more cultural stuff: Planet Chocolate...well you can guess, was incredibly delicious. We got to make our own chocolate and sample a bunch of different ones and Belgium has definitely earned its rep for having amazing chocolate. Very well deserved. A few of us went to the Music Museum which was really interesting because regardless of the fact my knowledge of musical instruments is close to nill, the entire thing was very interactive. You would get headphones and stand on little circles in front of the instrument and it would play a recording for you. Loooooved the music from Namibia and Western Africa in general- so upbeat and Im sorry but the classical stuff bored me after this. We swung by the Anatomium. You kind of have to if in Brussels, I mean its on all the tour brochures. The bike tour was probably my favorite part of the whole trip, at least in terms of the cultural aspects. Our tourguide was Argentinian and threw in lots of quirky anecdotes (including how the US is not America and in fact should be renamed Land of We Kill the Cherokee- I said Id pass on the suggestion but doubt it'll get much support). The views he showed us were incredible though and we got to see some places we definitely would not have seen otherwise, like the train station that is covered in graffiti (which Ive started to fall in love with) that turns into a club after midnight.

We also checked out the Brussels nightlife..Delirium Tantrum basically sums up the extent of that. Its a huge tourist attraction so the big downfall was that we didn't get to meet too many people from Brussels, but considering I couldn't talk to them anyway (dont speak French or Flemish..actually I was really lucky that a few of the girls spoke French and got all our directions). Anyway, the place is huge, has every type of beer you can imagine..I tried Cactus, Mango, Cherry and the regular ones they make. The specialty is the Delirium Tantrum which is 10%, but that's very normal there. As much as I didn't like beer before this, these are actually really good and a must try if you ever go. Our professor also came out with us and the guy is completely hilarious and does stuff professors in America would never be able to get away with..including doing a jig with one of the students in the middle of the bar, telling us his "motorboating story" from his politician days, showing us "how the west was won" by taking obscene amount of whiskey shots, and just being overall ridiculous. Our bus driver Klaus also came out with us and we had some great bonding time where he told us about his kids and grandkids. Oh, there was also a dog at the bar. And this was not me being drunk, but there was actually a dog hanging out at one of the booths. Totally normal right?

I also tried Mussels!! Mussels in Brussels...figured I wasn't going out of my way to eat them in the future so I may as well. Actually kind of liked them. Not at the same time, but we also got Belgian waffles- its like their version of hot dog stands because they are everywhere. I got strawberries and bananas on mine and wow when I have a heart attack at 25, Ill know what its from and it'll be so worth it. Overall, the trip was amazing. Well...

We were leaving Friday night at 7pm to make the 14hour long ride back. Fifteen minutes into the trip, the bus breaks down outside of NATO. This is pretty much how it played out from there: hours of trying to repair the bus, calling a repair man, explaining to the repair man what Brussels is and how to get there, him having no idea how to fix it, sleeping on the bus for the remainder of the night, paying a regular bus 100 euro to take us back to the hotel, having breakfast in the hotel, staying in the hotel lobby for the next 10 hours (a few of us wandered around and found the sweetest playground ever where we created our band and made our first album cover, very creative looking), had dinner in the Chinese restaurant that was in the lobby of our hotel and then made the 14 hour bus ride back, making it into Copenhagen at roughly 7am on Sunday...a mere 24 hours later than planned. At that point, I went back and passed out from pure exhaustion.

Update since then- not much. Went to the Globe to watch the Arsenal game tonight- won 5-2. Have not heard people swear that much in a while (and this is when they were happy as its a British pub). Now back and going to pass out.

Take back the city for yourself tonight

3:04am. Fallen back into my never-ending pattern of not sleeping. 3:04 wouldnt be bad if I hadn't gotten 2.5 hours of sleep last night. Its okay, McMann's research and the travel channel seem to be occupying my mind sufficiently at the moment.

Last few weeks: started volunteering. learned to say blue. had my best misunderstanding yet. celebrate Mary Ann's birthday. had cow heart (no i was not aware of this at the time). had my first midterm of the semester. booked my trip to Berlin. booked my trip to Budapest. discussed the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in a club (yeah I would). made my first actual Danish purchase other than food. had my first interview for the summer. went to the Danish Resistance Museum. went to the National Museum. had some great skype dates catching up with people. yelled at my computer, many times. saw the Little Mermaid. listened to Snow Patrol obsessively. explained to my brother that I was not in fact patrolling snow. fallen asleep on the s-tog. waited for the night bus for 40 minutes. introduced the family to grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. gotten incredibly frustrated with talking in circles. written a paper on international whaling law.

That should be enough of a night rant. I have an 8:30 so Im thinking at this point Ill crash for a few and go take the camera out for some early morning picture-taking. Center of African Studies at the University of Copenhagen is celebrating its 25th anniversary tomorrow so planning on heading there later in the day for some discussion and music. Have an interview at 7. Who knows where it'll go from there.

Stumbling blocks

One of the classes Ive been most excited for this semester is my holocaust and genocide class. Im incredibly interested in conflict regions, and most of what Ive studied, somewhat on my own, have been ones with genocide or vast human rights abuses. Obviously its not the most uplifting subject, clearly seen with the my teacher's comment from the first day that he would prefer no one cries. He's incredibly knowledgeable, his specialty is the Holocaust but he's also pretty well-versed on the Armenian genocide. This isn't my first time reading dense material on conflicts or the Holocaust, but this class is very different than anything Im used to. It's so strange to discuss first-hand accounts and these readings that physically make me nauseous at times in class- everyone has such a dissociated, "academic" tone about it. I understand the necessity for that, sitting and crying about these things is going to get nothing accomplished and really has very little point, but its very hard for me to wrap my head around discussing the slaughter of millions of people like I would talk about the color of the wallpaper in the room. We spent today talking about euthanasia and the set-up in the camps and someone asked where they extracted the gold teeth as if she was asking what's tomorrow's homework. Im not expecting people to cry- trust me Id prefer if the didn't but it definitely takes its toll. It doesnt help that I have human rights in Africa a few hours after...or what it seems like the lack of human rights.

So far, I feel as though Ive learned that there is nothing that can stop genocide/mass human rights abuses and there is no way to make any policies or explanations in regards to Africa because we really know nothing and every approach is wrong because we are westerners. I do agree with the latter to a certain degree...but then how can we make any foreign policy for any region? ...Today has been very thought-provoking and making me slightly question if I can handle working in human rights or if I am even somewhat qualified or will ever be? Its always great when your life ambitions get slightly knocked out from under you :)