Stumbling blocks

One of the classes Ive been most excited for this semester is my holocaust and genocide class. Im incredibly interested in conflict regions, and most of what Ive studied, somewhat on my own, have been ones with genocide or vast human rights abuses. Obviously its not the most uplifting subject, clearly seen with the my teacher's comment from the first day that he would prefer no one cries. He's incredibly knowledgeable, his specialty is the Holocaust but he's also pretty well-versed on the Armenian genocide. This isn't my first time reading dense material on conflicts or the Holocaust, but this class is very different than anything Im used to. It's so strange to discuss first-hand accounts and these readings that physically make me nauseous at times in class- everyone has such a dissociated, "academic" tone about it. I understand the necessity for that, sitting and crying about these things is going to get nothing accomplished and really has very little point, but its very hard for me to wrap my head around discussing the slaughter of millions of people like I would talk about the color of the wallpaper in the room. We spent today talking about euthanasia and the set-up in the camps and someone asked where they extracted the gold teeth as if she was asking what's tomorrow's homework. Im not expecting people to cry- trust me Id prefer if the didn't but it definitely takes its toll. It doesnt help that I have human rights in Africa a few hours after...or what it seems like the lack of human rights.

So far, I feel as though Ive learned that there is nothing that can stop genocide/mass human rights abuses and there is no way to make any policies or explanations in regards to Africa because we really know nothing and every approach is wrong because we are westerners. I do agree with the latter to a certain degree...but then how can we make any foreign policy for any region? ...Today has been very thought-provoking and making me slightly question if I can handle working in human rights or if I am even somewhat qualified or will ever be? Its always great when your life ambitions get slightly knocked out from under you :)